Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

thumb_up thumb_down +29

two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats the difference between a joke and the holocaust? ...There both funny..Exept for the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a Black Swan walks into a bar......,,,.she then has hallucinations and imagines herself having lesbian sex with Mila Kunis...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats worse than 9/11? 9/12

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

240

thumb_up thumb_down +27

knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops