What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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Betty Whites ALIVE?

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why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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How much dirt was in a hole that was 6 feet wide and 6 feet deep? None. It's a hole.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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drugs sex alcohol are as funny as AIDS

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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