roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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A Man: Why does it seem as though you always find what you need in the last place you look? Another Man: Probably because you don't continue to look.

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You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Cancer.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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A man walks into a bar.....OW!

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A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

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What time is it? Ask chuck Norris! Gosh!!

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The women if the wnba are good at basketball

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Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Coming home and discovering that your wife has drowned your kids in the bathtub

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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What has one eye but cannot see? A brick with an eye drawn on it

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Win and Beau have no friends

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

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What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

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This is not mean't to be a joke, but I have noticed the least popular thing on here is the Jew and the Pizza joke. I am Jewish and find this extremely offensive. I applaud all of those who gave it a negative vote and realize the Holocaust is not a laughing matter.

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Q. Why did the girl with no legs fall off her bike? A. Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

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What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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