how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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A horse cantered into a bar.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

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How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

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69

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240

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

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Why did the jew die Really...

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

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A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

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What do a jew and a black have in common? God hates both of them

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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Knock Knock Yes?

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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