What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

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Why do Asians squint their eyes? They were born like that.

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Why'd Katie fall off the swing? She had no arms

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A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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Why did I get raped

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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What do you call a qoman with 10 kids? A mother with 10 kids

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

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Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

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Why was the duck in jail? For Smoking...Quack!!

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Look out there's a bus in front of you

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What is better than AIDS? Cancer.Cancer and more cancer

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What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Fiats

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't you're just racist.

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What do Jews, Muslims and Blacks have in common? They are all valuable members of the community and should be treated no differently from anyone else

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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