What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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69

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Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

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Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

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your a towel.

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Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

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What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

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Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

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What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

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If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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If you like this, it will have one extra like

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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