Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? .......................................................................................................................................... SEVEN EIGHT NINE!!!!!

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What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

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Question: What is black and white and read all over? Guess: A newspaper? Answer: No. A zebra that was shot by a poacher. Poaching is a serious problem all over the world and should be looked down upon by all. It is not something to joke about.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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THE GAME

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Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

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What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe Joe who? Your friend Joe OK come in

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Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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What did the catholic priest say to the naked boy where are your clothes?

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

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Garry Glitters on here

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Do you know your videogames? Test your might!: Getal Sear Molid = Metal Gear Solid. Do you get these though? Combatfrogs. Mechapoliceofficer vs The Enders. Outdoor battlers: Second encounter, speedy version. Above Average Luciano Siblings. Area of the Beginners (if you get this one u are epik!) Monkey D0ng (not so epik :P) G-one (pretty good if you get this one too) Lethal Fighting. (LETHAL FIGHTING!!!) Exploder Guy (kudos if you get it) Requirement for velocity (lol) Weeds vs the Frankensteins (decent) So how many did you get? Check the comment section for the answers.

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What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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How do you make a black man sad? You kill and mutilate his family maliciously

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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