A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbuluDBHpfQ

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

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Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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What happens when a black man spills all of his grape soda? He cleans it up and recycles the empty can

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Why did the man fall down? He got shot

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

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A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

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What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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