What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbuluDBHpfQ

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

WNBA

Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

Why did the man fall down? He got shot

What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...