ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

What swims in the ocean? Fish

I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

A man walks into a bar. Ouch

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

Do you know what's not right? Left.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had an extra penis.

Roses are red. Violets are purple. Haha. Purple.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms. A: Knock knock! B: Who's there? A: Not Sally.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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