How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

Yo momma so fat, people snicker as they walk past her, quietly laughing at a women obviously struggling with obesity. They then proceed to stop laughing, as they realize that their mother died from diabetes. They then proceed to move on with their day.

Why did it take so long for the baby's to paint my wall? I didn't throw them hard enough.

Matt is not funny.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's alright now.

what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

What Happened to the man with no arms? Nothing, he continued his life with his daily routine of using his feet to accomplish his goals that day.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

i have a white dog on my and have the strangest boner

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he fell off a cliff

roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

miley cyrus

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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