Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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I lost my tractor.

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What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? a deer...

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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What's worse than cancer? Death.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she was put in this joke

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What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

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pineapples

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What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to one tree? Nailed to 10 trees

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Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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