What did I eat for my breakfast? My breakfast.

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You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Vodka is less Than dinner for two

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampon? A tampon doesn't cry when it's hungry or tired.

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As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... So he could be hit by a car.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? There was a huge pile of dead babies blocking his path.

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whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

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Why did the dodo cross the road Dodos are extinct so therefor they are unable to

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

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Hi

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Q) Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest A) Real Joke : Because the parrots-eat-em-all

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What's the difference between erotica and kink? Erotica involves simple arousal; kink usually has an added element of masochism.

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Q:What's worse than stepping on lego? A:Hiroshima.

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John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

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Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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That's a rhetorical question chickens don't cross roads!

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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What do you call a cannibal who won't eat his own brother? A pussy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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