Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

thermodynamics?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When is a tree not a tree? When it's a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than a spider bite? Two spider bites. What's worse than two spider bites? The fact that 1/3 of people get cancer. What's worse than that? Three spider bites.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you call a guy with a school bus on his head? Dead. It's highly unlikely that a man would be able to withstand the weight of a massive school bus on his head and survive.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to properly balance himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats black and white, and red all over? A Zebra being slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a dick just for you

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A black man, a white man, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The bartender kicks them out because he doesn't have time for another crappy joke; as the bar is very crowded that night.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you get a clown off a swing Hit it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock Whoes there? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did the chicken cross the road? I Lied, it was a cow not a chicken and it was a highway full of speeding cars slamming into the cow body until it would stop moooooooooooooooooving...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why does matt daly get confused for? A Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops