Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Yes.

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Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

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What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

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Two rabbis standing at the buffet cart. The first exclaims "Oy vey, those pork chops look good!". The second shrugs, turns to his friend and remarks, "So do your wife's norks".

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A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

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Pickles

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

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Why did the vegetarian lose her foot? Diabetes.

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Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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What do you call a tall Asian Tall

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a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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How do you kill a dinosaur with a spoon? You cant because they are extinct creatures

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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Why did the man get fired? Because he had cancer

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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why is john so fat years of over eating

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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