What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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since when?

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what did the fish say when he was eaten by a shark nothing fish cant talk

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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what do you call a black man in prison? justice.

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

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The WNBA.

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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GONNA

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Guess What! HI!

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Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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