What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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What has sand and an ocean? A picture of a beach.

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how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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A depressed gay illegal immigrant walks into a bar and the bartender asks why he's sad. The man replies "I'm the most unwanted man in America."

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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hihihihihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihjhihhhihhihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihiihihiihihihihihihihihihihiihihihihiihihihi

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yo momma so fat that she's fat

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What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

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Your mom was diagnosed with aids. Her prognosis was 6 months....clearly this joke is about the Holocaust.

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Probably just one.

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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bitches be crafty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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