my whole life!

Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

Your mom is so fat that she has to wear large clothing.

What's the most racist thing ever... Manhattan

A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person you are seeking is deaf and cannot hear the sound that is made when your knuckles come in contact with the door. Try calling next time..........

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

the comment about daniel was fron brock

Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

How do you kill a mocking bird? You throw an axe at it.

What do you get if you cross a lin and a deer? A pile of bloody bones.

Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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