-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

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Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

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a 5 year old rapes a pedophile

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Penis

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off. haha its funny

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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what is 6 + 8 a math equation

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops