How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the boy scream? Because his girlfriend poked him in the butthole, which he was not expecting. Thus surprising him.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than having the name Riley Bathurst? being shot in the head by a black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Whats the difference between a dead cat and a woman. The cat had a life.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why is the black guy bad a Hockey? He was raped with a hockey stick by his father, after many years of pain and sex jokes, and the internet meme of the rapey daddy came out, the man then tryed to kill him self, but lived and the became a... shit i forgot, well long story short, it was roger from family guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

what is the entire jewish population minus about 13 million? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

thumb_up thumb_down -56

b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Yo momma so stupid that she went to get a college degree from a community college and along with her education now has a greater opportunity to earn money with that knowledge.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +67

whats long and hard on a black man? his femur.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +61

A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

guess what? chicken butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops