What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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You have cancer

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How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

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Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Did you hear about the guy who came home one night and found his wife in bed with his best friend? He had just returned from a trip to the grocery store, where he'd purchased bread, milk, eggs, broccoli, yams, tea, and brownie mix.

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I just painted my nails. I have braces.

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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Cancer.

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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how did the monkey fall out of the tree he was stupid how did the monkey get a black eye he was hit by a bus how did the monkey end up in the sewer he got hit by another bus

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

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How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops