what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

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how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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What did the devil say to the baby with four arms? I am evil.

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

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Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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