What happened when the teacher told the class to be quite? The class was quite.

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Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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yo mamma's so stupid, she is not that smart.

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Ms. Smoot's class

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

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THE GAME

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Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

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i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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