2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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Dick spice

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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colby doesnt shave

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A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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