What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

What is better than a cat? Nothing

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

terry stockton is straight

What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

Hey, look under there! Under what?

Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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