Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the hospital? A: The victim of a violent mob attack

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a hemophiliac? A bleeding ass!

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

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Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

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What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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What is an Anti-Joke? This is.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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guess what? chicken butt.

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What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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