Roses are violets red is blue i like lizards they have fur

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Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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Why did the woman cry? She was sodomized by wild animals

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I like hats XD!

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

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What do you call a crocodile in a dentist? I have no idea, but I'd hate to be that dentist.

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

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whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

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Why did alfred crap his pants? because he had downs

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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