Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

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Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

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Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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Not Steve Jobs

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An atheist walks into a church

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why is black such a deprssing color because it symbolizes death

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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