Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down -25

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Once upon a time there was man named Bob. He liked bacon. So he ate some. And he like it. So he got some more and ate it. Then he went an played THE GAME.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than dying? Dying poor.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black man is stopped at a red light. He waits for the light to turn green and proceeds forthwith.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the boy kissing up to his parents? He only wanted them to say "I love you" for once.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

*knock knock "there's a door bell"

thumb_up thumb_down +72

how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +62

men, men like men= men+bed

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops