What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

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How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

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If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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knock knock, whos there? the repo man.

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a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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How do you kill an american? You shoot them

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

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what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

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Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

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You wanna hear a JOKE ?!! Justin Bieber has a DlCK !!!

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Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

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Knock-Knock The man wasn't home, so there was no answer.

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What time is it? Refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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