A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he felt like it.

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What do you get when you mix a deer and a pickle? A very odd dinner.

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

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Why did the Filipino man get small condoms? Because he's not black.

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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Why was the boy crying last night? - a clown raped him

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

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One day my dog ran away. We drove around for a long time looking for it.

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knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What's worse? Cleaning a New York bathroom, or getting stabbed. WELL I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN!!! They both suck!

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops