Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

american government

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Womens rights

Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

Drunk irish man

why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

What comes after 23? 24.

Wow, that was a long opinion for someone that does supposedly not watch Hentai, hey, if you like hentai thats cool, I was about your age when I got really tired of watching sex drawn or not and just you know, went for it real life as they say nowadays. I just happen to like your eyes, I mean you do not like them, but avoid mirrors and I will be the one looking at them. Chobits, yeah, I watched that a looong time ago, then deathnote, and then nothing because I got too old for that stuff, Oh wait, gungrave, that I also watched.

What's the most offensive joke you've ever heard? EVENTS: The Black Plague The 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake and Tsunami The Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre Space Shuttle Columbia The Boston Bombing The Enron Scandal The Great Depression Hurricane Katrina The Iraq War Krakatoa Mt. Vesuvius September 11 2001 The sinking of the Titanic World War I and II PEOPLE: Adolf Hitler Al Capone Attila the Hun Ariel Castro Blackbeard Caligula Charles Manson Ed Gein Elizabeth Bathory Idi Amin Ivan the Terrible Jeffery Dahmer Josef Fritzl Josef Mengele Joseph Stalin Kim Il-sung The Ku Klux Klan Nero Osama bin Laden Pol Pot Saddam Hussein Mao Zedong The Taliban Torquemada Vlad the Impaler DISEASES: AIDS Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Bubonic Plague Cholera Chronic Diarrhea Cystic Fibrosis Dysentery Ebola Virus Gonorrhea Herpes Leprosy Mad Cow Malaria Necrotizing Fasciitis Polio Rabies Scurvy Swine Flu Smallpox MISCELLANEOUS: Alcoholism Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders Arson Bestiality Cannibalism Capital punishment Castration Child abuse Colonoscopies Coprophilia/phagia Drug abuse/addiction Electric torture The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned Genocide Human sacrifice Identity theft Losing one's favorite childhood toy Mustard gas Necrophilia Neo-Nazism One's grandmother dying Pedophilia Racism Rape Religious intolerance Stillborn babies Suicide Walking on broken glass Working on weekends

Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia ...where am I

You know what they say about people with big feet.......... They wear big shoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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