What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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knock knock!! kanye west

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, let me touch it forever!

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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tobi is so gay that he is the mayor of sanfrancisco

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A priest walks into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread , the baker asks "white or brown" the priest replies "it does not matter Sir I have my bike outside".

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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