What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Lumberjack say before cutting down the tree? Nothing, it's his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

69

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wade

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why could the boy use the computer there was nothing wrong with him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops