Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

What's up brah brah

Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

What is the difference between a duck?

Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

Two mooses were sitting in a tree, minding their own business, when suddenly a submarine came flying. "He probably lives here." The first moose said to the other.

What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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