5

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what do you watch ? a tv

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

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what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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Jews

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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