Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a man walks into a bar. ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a dick just for you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Robin get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

This is apparently the only way to get to the "under review" section.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

WHO LIVES IN A TIN SHACK THUMB MOUNTNORIS ALCATRAZ MAGHBARREY MUSTARD GAS MILK STAIN REGESTERED S.O SCREAMS MADELINN SBB OPERATION SBB FREE MEAT SANTA GREASE 590 ENGLISH FOLDER SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB SBB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's mean to black people? The economy. But, I forgot to mention that it's not nice to whites, hispanics, asians or anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops