A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

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What happened to boy who fell down the stairs? He died. What happened to the girl who fell down the same stairs? The boy who fell down the stairs hit her down the stairs too and they both died What happened to the man fell down these very same stairs? He got peer pressure and committed suicide.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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what happens when a jew meets a black person answer: they greet one another

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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*spongebob voice* 25

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How do you make a clown sad? You hit him in the face with axe

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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