whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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Knock, Knock ..... ..... No one is home, they've been evicted.

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Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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And the winner of Miss America 2050 is... Britney Spears!

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Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

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Pen15

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

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Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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