Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

Whats the difference between a dead cat and a woman. The cat had a life.

what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

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What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

Womens rights

what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

Yes, finally caught that mouse!

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

Knock Knock.

Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A fossil.

What's worse than an anti-joke? People who don't get the concept of an anti-joke and post regular jokes on this site.

U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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