What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

What looks like a dick? A penis

why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

My tractor broke down.

Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

What's black and chrispy inside? A black guy with bonecancer

i did your mom......a favor. by making you......... a sandwhich. i rubbed her pussy.........cat. she saw my dick.........tionary. I slapped her ass...........what i did.

What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir......my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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