You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Am I the boss.No I was just offered the job

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +143

There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops