So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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Why did the Blonde say something stupid? Because she is stupid

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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