Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

thumb_up thumb_down +176

How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

thumb_up thumb_down +58

what's worse than finding 8 babies in 1 trash can? nuclear warfare

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

thumb_up thumb_down -18

69

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

who broke the little boys window? his abductor/rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Flop dog

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -163

British Dentistry

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops