why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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69

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What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

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Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

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Why did it suck to be a black jew during the Holocaust? cause you had to go to the back of the oven

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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