Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

How many WOMEN does it take to change a light bulb? YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS GONNA BE MORE THAN ONE!

Mark Wilson

What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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