Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

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The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

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Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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Why did the chiken cross the road? Well its wing were clipped so it couldnt fly across the road.

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Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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What's a skateboard without wheels A snowboard

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who's best is friend is really good looking? James Cornish

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

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Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

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What do you call a tall Asian Tall

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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