- Anti Joke

Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

Ken wins!

What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

You forgot to tell her that I can sense how you are doing and feeling based on how you phrase the words, how quickly you type, spacing, and lots of stuff I do not remember but can still make use off. Listen, I am alive and well compared to what I have been other times, the best thing about my grotesque childhood, is that it makes everything else, including this seem like nothing in comparison, nothing compares its as simple as that. Hey, speaking of simple, I want the new Street Figher game, and I want you to play if for me tomorrow, ill just tell you what to push or possess you or something else not possible, then we will both be calm like I am now, just like when we played Metal Gear, I tell you what to do, and you kinda suck and mess up because I am horrible at giving instructions okay? You know, I can see the sea from here, its really calming, it will also help you calm down as well, lets say I was in a casket, got out of it, and am recovering now, and you can be on your way now in about now unless my guys crashed in mid air, which is stupid, and stop staring at the screen like that, you should go watch television or something, distract yourself for the time being. Ill have to sleep now, speaking of knowing my limits, I might be taking permanent damage here, and while that is fine, I cant let it progress, I cant afford to go insane now that I have proven to many and most importantly myself that I am not. Remember when we watched flipper together? Skippy the Kangaroo? Mind breaking out those old video tapes? Id love watching them with you again... As for the videogames screw that, it was just something I said just like the sea, the game between you and me screwing up in order to "possess you", and then the sea so you would calm down like when you discovered you where really good at swimming once the fear of water got away. I wont lie you got that fear because I am a hydrophobe, young people end up mimicking the fear of one another, but thats over, I shower without getting blemishes now remember? I am no longer convinced my mother is laughing at me when the water gets cold either, I overcame that. Okay, wake up, just know I did not "possess you" I just "linked our emotions together by portraying a scenario we both know and enjoy doing together, I hope its okay I do not explain anymore, with zopiclone in the system, I can barely think at all. But let me know if you need more help. Say whats on your mind, ill read it all, but I cant answer, I am not taking any damage, I assure you that was just part of a hypnotic process, its "the link" I pretend like I am worried so you will know we are both worried and enter the same state, from then on I change it. I know you fear hypnosis and what it can do, but I hope you still trust me.

How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

1 Jew XD

How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

how did the thirteen year old girl get pregnant? she was raped.

What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

knock knock, whos there? the repo man.

Why did Billy drop his lunchbox? Because he was mauled by a Hippo.

a man walks into a bar. ouch.

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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