A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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The WNBA

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This one time at band camp....

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Take off your shoes.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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Miley Cyrus is Twerk Queen

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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