How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

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How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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do you wanna hear a joke about pizza? sure. naw,its too cheesy

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The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

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whats worse than seeing a repeated anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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Racism is like black people... It should not exists...

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

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I once went seven years without sex, then I turned eight and my uncle raped me.

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milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

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Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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An Asian gets into her car to drive to her grandmother's house. She arrives at 6:30 and has a wonderful dinner.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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What do you call a person with an arrow in their head? Dead

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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