They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Mrs. Welsh

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how did the monkey fall out of the tree he was stupid how did the monkey get a black eye he was hit by a bus how did the monkey end up in the sewer he got hit by another bus

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There once was a man from Kentucky...then he raped everyone in sight... THE END

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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I went river dancing once. I fell in

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What looks like a dick? A penis

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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An Irishman, a homosexual and a Jew walk into a bar. Paddy's really exploring his options lately.

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, get out of the garden it's time for lunch.

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Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

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why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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What rhymes with 'stick' and is brown? A stick

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Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

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Well educated black man.

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Pen15

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Q: A Jew lost a penny, a nickel, and a dime. If he found the nickel and the dime, what didn't he find? A: The Mesiah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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