How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

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Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why is 6 afriad of 7? because 7 killed 8 with a pistol and is now on a killing spree.

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two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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Theres a man with 2 eyes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops