Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person you are seeking is deaf and cannot hear the sound that is made when your knuckles come in contact with the door. Try calling next time..........

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What do you get if you cross a lin and a deer? A pile of bloody bones.

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

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shauns beautiful

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Why was the boy wearing pyjamas? It was his bed time.

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we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

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What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

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There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

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How do you kill a mocking bird? You throw an axe at it.

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

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Your mom.

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A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops