What happened after Peter broke his toe? He went into cardiac arrest and died.

If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

Oh, I must be hearing things.

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he felt like it.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie

Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

Keep up the fun Nero!

What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

Penis

what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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