Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He threw it, because he had parkinson's!

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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A fat boy walked into a party

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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wuts the diference between a black guy and arab? black guy kills whitye guy arab lijkes black guy (no jews or **** thou)

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That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

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It was nice knowing you Erron, it really was.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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