Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one cannibal set to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats green and has 4 wheels? A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

*insert joke here*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how to you kill a black man. with a weapon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what reason a man dont cry when the dog of his own childs dies? *guess the answer now a) he killed it b) he didnt like it c) a + b

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Do you want to know a funny joke Answer- Kieran Reynolds HAHAHAHAHA This is not Daniel Lesiak

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops